Where should I start?
Life?
Yes, life after E.
Definitely looking at a better outlook. Alhamdulillah, my first day that ended up with tears (thanks H for being there) pretty much went from good to great as the days passes by.
My first weekend is indeed a blissful weekend, no itchy feeling that work's not done, i have mastered the art of leaving-personal-emotions-at-home-and-working-throughout-the-day and with that, i have never felt better. Alhamdulillah.
It's almost the same thing, going up to auditees (we dont call them clients anymore cause theyre within Tigers too) and its about doing what I used to do for the past 2 years. I am, however, starting to think of what other possible thing that i want to do after Tiger.
I told Haf about my interest in writing, i wish to be like Carrie B. from SATC and Id love to do just that! Haf told me to start things slowly, maybe start writing draft pieces..so that maybe one day it could actually become...publishable? Okay is that even a word? hahahaha How do i get one copy out if i cant even get one word confirmed? Tsk Tsk.
Anyways, on to the rest of the day on Saturday, I mustered up the strength to take the ladder and to wipe ALL the fans in the house- mine, the back room, the 2 fans in the front, the lamps, the lamp shades, and then I wiped the stairs like Cinderella, wiped the blinds, swept the kitchen, hung my clothes, took them in, wiped the racks outside clean, battled with the dusts, and 5 hours later i was swamped, tired to the bone.
And baby-not-so-baby brother decided to text me at that instant and requested for me, oh-so-very-nice-and-loving sister to pick him up at Masjid Wilayah and to send him to his car in UIA. Being the nice sister that i am, i decided to do just that.
Anyhoos, later that night i went off to see Haf and to send him back to Bangi.
Ive missed him all the while he was away in Labuan and Kuantan, and hes going off to Johor this Tuesday. Imagine my misery. Hey Im allowed to feel all the miserableness that one could feel, having this kind of one-day-here-and-one-day-there situation.
Oddly enough, when I met him last night, I was composed, I was calm, i wasnt chatty as how Id normally be. He talked most of the time and I listened. The whole ride to Bangi. He grabbed my hand and held it, and I stared at my fingers entwined with his. I continued staring and he continued talking.
I was basically in my own world, listening to him talking and staring at both our hands.
I was scared at the fact that he is leaving for work ever so often, so i kept calm, i didnt want to be all.......... (word removed by author)..
And the moment we reached his house, I felt better. I love his family, his mom and his little niece. Talkative and bossy, and she made me laugh soo much! And Haf told his mom...."Ma, Nani nak buka sini esok.."
Imagine my shock and BAPAKMALUQ307ASd*5QAW6E238472390 TAHAP AYAM.
So anyways, fast forward to today, I didnt want to go for I was tooooooooo shy, although id go over to his house almost every week if hes in KL.
I felt inadequate, i felt like i have nothing to bring, and that i shouldnt even buy food at the bazaar for his mom can cook every single thing the bazaar can offer. :((
So here I am, looking at the clock...and simply..typing away..
Im missing him... :(
Im missing him so much that I didnt even want to admit it to him.
So anyways, i have decided to end all dramas (please please God help me on this) and to look on the positive side..the bright side of things.
My heart hurts at the thought of him going away but now, ive decided to just screw unhappiness and start being happy.
Like that quote i saw on twitter...
I cant remember the first 2 parts but towards the end it says.."cherish the moment, forget the pain..."
Things will get better. I know it will.
Because I trust Him.
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