4 months and venting

I need to vent. but sometimes there doesn't seem to be any platform where i can do so openly. talking to my best friends helps, to my family too, but sometimes you just want to scream..and shout.. and punch something.

I am almost 4-months pregnant. Alhamdulillah, the happiest i have ever been. That tiny body in my tummy, the sound of my angel's heartbeat.. melts my heart.

so what's wrong?

Work?

To be really really honest, work is fine, i love the load cause it keeps me busy. I love my current boss who is understanding and pretty much delegates tasks to us so we are in control.

So what's the problem?

It's the culture. The i-am-sick-why-are-you-bugging-me-culture. It doesn't apply to just me, or where i work, in fact it applies to everyone across the globe. Practically anyone who has a working mobile phone in fact.

I can tolerate a couple of messages when i still got my head screwed on tight. But when i am extremely exhausted, under the weather, sick to my bone and YOU STILL EXPECT ME TO MAKE A DECISION, that's when it irks me. 

I hardly get sick. I hate going to clinics, except when my temp reaches maybe 39-40 degrees? To get that MC.. to push away all work that requires an update or several updates. So when i am away it means i needed the time out, i needed to recover.

But in the current culture we are in, no, unless you're sick till you're dying, then that's when they'll stop asking for you/from you. Or maybe when you're somewhere totally unreachable? Perhaps. But these days getting that 1 piece of MC means nothing.

Yes some may say it's me who responses, why dont you switch off, let it go etc. But I cant. First and foremost there is no handover, i mean, who PLANS to get sick anyway?

On another note, im upset because of the support that's lacking. Work support. Not my own team but other parts where it makes MY team looks bad. Makes the sector looks bad. I dont like this. I like working where i do, what i do, but we should have each other's backs. 

arghh. Anyways, i vented out to Titi, who said to just sabar and that everything will pass and will be okay. Mama's off to langkawi for work so no bugging her there.

Ya Allah i pray for strength, especially during this pregnancy, please make it easy for me. When I'm sick during this period, it's the worse cause i worry for my baby. If im sick then what about my little angel?

Ya Allah please protect my baby from harm, Ameen.

And protect me from mishaps, from any more morning sickness, from nasty people.

And for a good outcome from all this. 

Ameen.